I have played quite a few indie games over the years and a lot of them have been awesome. Having just finished Undertale I am in the mood for more wonderful indie goodness, and I stumbled upon Cave Story+ on Steam, which just so happens to at the time of this writing have the average review score of “Overwhelmingly positive”, I have to give this a try.

I don’t know much about the game, but it’s supposed to be a metroidvania type game with fantastic music.

Stages of the game

First impressions

I hate the design of the main character. He just looks so bland and has an ugly, flat head. Also, why is the music so acclaimed? It’s not bad my any means, but c’mon, I just played Undertale, which had the best soundtrack I’ve heard for a long time. I guess it’s cool that you can choose between the original tracks, remastered and “new” versions though.

I was never huge on Metroid, or on Castlevania, but at least Super Metroid and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night are very atmospheric and have good gameplay. This just seems like a cheap game made in Game Maker Studios or something.

So, I’ve acquired a couple of different weapons. They’re okay, I guess. The enemy design is also okay.. I guess. This just about sums up my first impressions of this game. It’s okay.. I guess. I definitely have yet to see the greatness here.

Somewhere in the middle

Uh, so I guess I’m a robot from the surface or something. I don’t know. I don’t care.

I have obtained a few more weapons and seen a few more areas. Nothing impressive. Seems like your ordinary Metroidvania style game without all the content. There was this one part where I had to run back and forth a bunch of times to collect “Jellyfish Juice”. It was excruciatingly boring. Then I had to collect some dogs for an old lady. That was also boring. The enemies are boring, the level design is very “meh” and the characters are also bland and boring (except for Balrog, the toaster guy who is apparently really modeled after a soap bar).

The best thing about Cave Story+ is the soundtrack, and I don’t even think it’s that great.

After finishing the game

Yeah, okay, so I just realized I’d get the bad ending if I’d keep playing this piece of crap. One of the supporting characters fell down a hole, so I thought “well, better check on him”. I thought it wouldn’t be a problem since I had traded my first gun for the machine gun, which fully upgraded can act as kind of a jet pack, enabling me to traverse vertical spaces easily. The gun trade is apparently one of three available ones (which I could not possibly know). Jumping down to check on the fallen guy will actually give me the bad ending, I read online somewhere. Really? REALLY?! Did the maker of this game add the machine gun after this part was done or something? Did he not realize that going down that hole could be a very rational decision if you have this gun? This makes no sense.

I won’t play the last part of this game (which by the way is only 3-4 hours long) and I won’t ever play it again unless I’m forced to at gunpoint or something.

This is seriously the most overrated game I have ever played, and I’ve played some pretty overrated games. This is why it is generally not a very good idea to listen to people on the Internet. This game has a cult-like following and I so can’t understand why.

Do yourself a favor and go play Undertale instead of this shit. Maybe this game was OK as a freeware indie game before indie games were really a thing. I accept that. But as a 15€ Steam game, this game smells. It’s short, ugly, badly designed and has a soundtrack that is only a little bit above average.

Verdict

Don’t play!

So, I decided to buy some old classic PS3 games that I’ve for some reason missed to play, and that right now are dirt cheap since we’re near the end of the life cycle of the console. One of those games is FarCry 2. I’ve played FarCry 3 and enjoyed it very much, so I went in expecting something similar but worse (since it is older).

Stages of the game

First impressions

Why did I buy this? The graphics are horrible for the PS3. The controls are really sluggish and it’s very difficult to aim. Why has this game received good reviews? I bet the PC version handles much more nicely and looks a lot better.  I feel sorry for whoever ported this game for the PS3 and wonder how they’re able to sleep at night.

Guess what? This is awful enough that I can’t even continue playing this (and that does not happen very often for me). If I do decide to continue one rainy day then I guess I’ll update this review at that time. Maybe it’s unfair to only play this for an hour or so and immediately reject it, but I honestly don’t see how I could possibly continue playing this without the feeling that I’m wasting my precious weekend.

I wish I had a nice gaming PC to play this on, but I don’t, so there you have it.

Somewhere in the middle

N/A

After finishing the game

N/A

Verdict

Don’t play!