I once googled “what is the best looking game ever?” and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt came up as one of the contenders (along with my  pet peeve Watch Dogs which doesn’t even look that good to me). I know nothing about the game, or the franchise whatsoever. So, hey, why not randomly throw away my money and by the entire trilogy on Steam for a hefty 70€?

Being who I am, I can’t play the third game in a series without having played the other two first, so I will start out of The Witcher: Enhanced Edition. Someone in the comments for the game on Steam wrote “if you like games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age, do yourself a favor and buy this game”. Well, mr Sir, I sure do like the games you mentioned so I hope you’re right about this.

Stages of the game

First impressions

Why can’t I use a gamepad in this game? I hate playing this kind of game with keyboard and mouse. Oh well.

So apparently I’m a Witcher with amnesia. I have been mutated to become some kind of superhuman that kills monsters in a world full of elves and shit. Elves, amnesia, monster killing – in a game?! How original! </sarcasm>

The combat is quite fun. I think I am going to like this game. It does remind me of Mass Effect/Dragon Age a lot and that’s a good thing.

Somewhere in the middle

I just learned that this game was developed in Poland. I guess that’s why it’s so Polished. Ha-ha-ha. Hah. Seriously though, it is interesting playing a game developed in Poland because I don’t think I’ve ever done so before. The fact that the game is good makes it even more interesting.

There is something about this game and its atmosphere that just drags me in and makes me want to play more. This is true even though the main character sounds like Duke Nukem when he talks. Also, for some reason it’s possible to sleep with some female NPCs, and once you do, you get something like a collector’s card with a picture of the lady you just plowed (yeah, they call it “plowing” in this game). Very weird, very sexist and very hilarious.

The combat is pretty cool, the graphics are alright, the story keeps me interested, the character design is quite cool and there are some pretty fun bugs (the hair on some NPCs flap around like crazy sometimes; just wait until you see this happen to the Reverend’s long beard…)

Everything is not rainbows and sunshine on a stick, however. The game crashes for no reason a lot. If happens maybe once every other hour or so. It’s manageable if saving is performed frequently, however. Also, there is so much running back and forth, even without doing all the side quests that are available.

Altogether this is a big surprise for me. So much better than I came in expecting and I see much self finishing this, wanting the sequel.

Awesome character design

The characters, man.. the characters. Damn. A work of art for sure.

After finishing the game

This was a pretty long game, but I did not mind. I had a blast playing this and I wonder why I hadn’t even heard of it before.

Although the combat system is a little clunky it’s still good fun. The music, as previously mentioned, is fantastic. This game also features pretty much the only crafting system I’ve enjoyed at all, in any game. What’s pretty sad, however, is that I’ve noticed there are maybe five or so different NPC models that are re-used, again and again. Sometimes that can be fine, but when they look as eccentric as the fat man with the bell around his neck (see picture above) it’s pretty hard to swallow.

If the sequels have improved from this game, then they can only be electrifyingly awesome.

Verdict

Play!

So, I just bought a gaming PC that was too expensive, and that I’ve so far only used to play really old games that don’t even come close to fully utilizing the awesome powerz that be inside my computer machine. I’ve heard that Watch Dogs (or is it Watch:Dogs? Watch_Dogs?) is supposed to look pretty hot, so hey, let’s give it a go.

I don’t know a lot about this game, other than the fact that it’s Ubisoft, which can’t possibly be a good thing. The hacking seems pretty cool, but altogether I think it will turn out to be a mixture of other Ubisoft overrated games (Farcry and Assassin’s Creed to be specific). I think I’ll have fun anyway though, and hopefully my sweet, sweet computer will get a run for its money.

Stages of the game

First impressions

The game looks good for sure (I am playing on Ultra settings). The hacking is really cool, although I have not seen its full potential yet, I’m guessing. Or maybe I have and it’s only cool in the beginning. We’ll see.

The cars handle like crap, which makes driving a choir rather than something fun. Also, why can I steal them with a ton of witnesses without any repercussions?

The most interesting aspect of the game so far is the ability to see all the NPCs’ yearly salaries, occupations and random facts. It makes them a bit more human, I guess.

Somewhere in the middle

I find it interesting how this game has a karma system, but completely clearing someone’s bank account does not affect it.

Playing side quests in this game is very boring. I almost gave up on the damn game, until I decided to stop doing side quests and carry on with the campaign missions. This made it more bearable.

What bores me is that it’s all the same, and that same is not very good. The game does not excel at driving, shooting, stealthing or anything else basically.

I still somewhat enjoy Watch Dogs, but right now I would not recommend it to anyone. The hacking was cool to start with, but I realize now that after the first couple of missions I’ve seen all it can do and I am not really amused.

After finishing the game

Meh, just really, really meh. Also, meh. Did I mention meh?!

This game can’t hold my attention. I can’t bear finishing this game right now. This is everything that is wrong with so many games today. Fancy graphics, costs millions of dollars and a shitload for people to develop, and then just meh. The story is bland (I’m a cool hacker and my mysterious online friend turns out to be a super hot goth chick because LADIES CAN BE HACKERS TO DAMNIT!) and the gameplay isn’t that good. Just like I thought from the beginning, lots of elements are just copied from other Ubisoft franchises. Franchises that I, of course, don’t like.

Ubisoft, don’t you think that something is wrong with your game if I’d rather play something like Super Meat Boy which costs roughly as much as two cartons of milk and took two people to develop?

Verdict

Don’t play!

Ok, so I find that my usual review format is rather awkward for the type of games that doesn’t really have an ending, like online games for instance. Such is also the case for Euro Truck Sim (at least I think so), so I created a new category for this: “Endless”. I will just briefly talk about these games and then put a verdict on them. Now, let’s put on that beard and get on with Euro Truck Simulator…

I never sat behind a wheel in my life. Well, maybe I did, but I certainly never drove a car. When I saw Euro Truck Simulator 2 in a bundle on Steam, I couldn’t resist. I have heard surprisingly good things about this game.

I decided to go with a manual gearbox (hey, this is a European truck sim, not American!) which of course was not going to do me, the inexperienced (to say the least) driver, any favors. Sticks and stones may break my bones, and the stick certainly broke me at first.

Guess what? I really like this game. It’s very relaxing, and I think I may even be learning some things about traffic. The controls felt a bit clunky at first, but that’s probably just my inexperience showing, because after having played for about an hour, I did just fine.

I pick up this game from time to time now, put some Lynyrd Skynyrd on in the background and go crazy on the roads by OBEYING THE LAW, BABY! I certainly recommend this to anyone who wants a nice little piece of zen in their lives. Play this with a controller though (or I guess a wheel and pedals).

Verdict

Play!

I read some very nice things about this game. Many have called it “game of the year 2013”. I tried the first Bioshock when it was new and I hated it; I couldn’t stand the character design and the atmosphere was too spooky for me (no, I don’t enjoy horror games…). Let’s see if this game will be any different for me.

Stages of the game

First impressions

Right after I stopped playing FarCry 2 because it made my eyes bleed, I popped BioShock into my PS3, and what a difference! To be fair, this game is a lot newer, but the controls are smooth as a baby’s bum and the graphics are great, without sacrificing framerate.

The city floating city Columbia is magnificent. This is just my kind of atmosphere. The fuzzy feeling in my gut quickly turned into something else rather quickly though, as I was suddenly branded “the false shepherd”. I was then attacked, to which I counter-attacked and mutilated some dude’s face. Oh man, I think this is going to be a great game. I feel much better playing this than I did the original BioShock.

Somewhere in the middle

Yup, this is still a great game in many ways. Some things bug me a little bit, though. It’s a little too easy (although I do play it on normal difficulty, so maybe that’s not a valid complaint). At one point I found myself just bum rushing what was basically an army of soldiers. I immediately dropped to low health because of this dumb move, but my in-game companion just threw me a medkit and I managed it anyway.

I’m also not a big fan of the supernatural elements of the game. At least there aren’t any laser weapons (I do prefer weapons that shoot bullets).

The important thing is I’m having lots of fun playing this. The monorail system is pretty cool gliding about, the atmosphere is great and the story is pretty interesting. I don’t think I’ll be bored with this. In fact, I thought the game was just about to end but it didn’t and I was glad.

After finishing the game

I got pretty much what I expected, I would say. I would have preferred more of the nice atmosphere from the beginning, but that’s a minor complaint. Also, the game was a little bit too easy for my taste. I honestly think I used vigors (kind of like magic skills, requiring collectable salts) under 50 times altogether during my playthrough.

Verdict

Play!

TellTale creates games that are pretty much more interactive stories than games (seeing as how the gameplay pretty much consists of walking around looking at conveniently highlighted things, and QTE fights) where the player gets to make choices that supposedly drives the story in different directions (although all choices inevitably leads down the same disturbing paths). I’ve already played through TellTale’s The Walking Dead on my PS3, and it was awesome, so I am expecting this to be something similar, but in a world full of characters from tales.

The first episode is free for Android (and I guess also the other platforms) so why not give it a try? Since I fell flat for Kingdom Rush, I’ve enjoyed playing stuff on my Nexus 7 and I bet I’ll enjoy this too.

Stages of the game

First impressions

The soundtrack is bad-ass. The graphics are great in all its cel shaded cartoonishness. The game also runs very well on my Nexus 7. It actually runs, and looks, better than Walking Dead on my PS3. So weird.

The first, free episode successfully peaked my interest, and I just bought the remaining four episodes. The story is intriguing and considerably more raw than I came in expecting.

I definitely recommend downloading the first episode and trying it out, especially since it doesn’t cost anything.

Somewhere in the middle

I don’t want this to end. I mean, I really don’t want this to end, like, ever. I am so glad I got this when all episodes were already readily available, because I don’t think I could have waited.

The atmosphere, thanks to the story, voice acting, music and graphics, is splendid. I’m really sucked into this. TellTale really knows how to keep me playing, and that is very impressive in a time where most AAA games pretty much bore me out.

After finishing the game

Please, just buy this. It is definitely worth your money, probably no matter the platform. Probably my game of the year for 2014. I can’t wait for a second season to be released.

Verdict

Play!

So, I decided to buy some old classic PS3 games that I’ve for some reason missed to play, and that right now are dirt cheap since we’re near the end of the life cycle of the console. One of those games is FarCry 2. I’ve played FarCry 3 and enjoyed it very much, so I went in expecting something similar but worse (since it is older).

Stages of the game

First impressions

Why did I buy this? The graphics are horrible for the PS3. The controls are really sluggish and it’s very difficult to aim. Why has this game received good reviews? I bet the PC version handles much more nicely and looks a lot better.  I feel sorry for whoever ported this game for the PS3 and wonder how they’re able to sleep at night.

Guess what? This is awful enough that I can’t even continue playing this (and that does not happen very often for me). If I do decide to continue one rainy day then I guess I’ll update this review at that time. Maybe it’s unfair to only play this for an hour or so and immediately reject it, but I honestly don’t see how I could possibly continue playing this without the feeling that I’m wasting my precious weekend.

I wish I had a nice gaming PC to play this on, but I don’t, so there you have it.

Somewhere in the middle

N/A

After finishing the game

N/A

Verdict

Don’t play!

Kingdom Rush screenshot

One of the best Tower Defence games ever

I’m a real sucker for tower defence games. Something about that genre really speaks to me. One of the best such games I have yet to encounter is Kingdom Rush, available for iOS, Android and PC (as a free, Flash based browser game with the possibility of buying additional crap). I first played the Flash version and then bought the Android version.

The game (based on promotions, the Google Play description, screenshots etc) looks like one of those awful games that are constantly promoted on the banners across the web that I have to view when in environments where ad blocking software is not available. It’s not, though.

Simple, classic tower defense with minor twists. You are only allowed to build towers on some pre-defined spots on every map, which is fine and makes it a bit more challenging. Enemies travel a pre-defined route towards the target that you have to defend. You have access to heroes that can walk this path and clash with the enemies.

Overall, I played and enjoyed this game that I spent 7 Swedish crowns on (about one USD) much more than the games I recently bought for PS3 for a total price of 600 Swedish crowns (about 85 USD).

Stages of the game

First impressions

Looks promising, but darn, it’s hard, difficult, challenging, fractious, tricky, tough, but also lots of fun. If I can figure out how to use the different tower types I’m sure I’ll be able to have some fun with this. The graphics are adorable.

Somewhere in the middle

Okay, I’m hooked. This is great. Probably the best tower defence game I’ve played (maybe apart from Pixeljunk Monsters – mainly because of the co-op mode). This is way more fun and relaxing to play than the Hitman HD Trilogy I just bought for PS3. Can’t stop playing this for about an hour a day on my tablet now.

You definitely need some tactical skills to pull all the levels off. Some are really challenging. No way you can complete this game by just randomly building and upgrading towers.

After finishing the game

Well, that was worth my money alright. And it was so cheap! I could’ve bought like one banana for that price, and this sure tasted better than a banana. I’ve kind of looked down upon Android as a gaming platform before but this is amazing.

Verdict

Play!